Stairway to Hell

Friday August 24'2012

5:46pm

On the final stretch, just weeks before I can smell the sweet, fresh air of home, time seems to be standing still. The world is a sadistic bitch. All the little things I once loved and found appealing here, now just annoy me. The Food Bazaar has none of the original foods I became obsessed with months ago. Now every trip there is one disappointment after another instead of what once was a tantalizing scavenger hunt of delectables. Mahabali has been getting in trouble for being lazy, and it shows. He never asks me for chai anymore. Which means we hardly speak. AJ quit. I was mortified to hear this but I have been assured that this is a common occurrence with him. He will return in a few months when he needs work again, all knowing Akshee tells me. I won't be here in a few months. This blows. Even roti and I have drifted apart. You're boring me, wheat flour. I've been forced to introduce peanut butter into our relationship in order to spice things up and salvage what's left of our disintegrating affection for one another. And peanut butter is not cheap here. Of course it's not. And chai, I love you chai, always will. But with Mahabali's lacklustre approach to manning the kitchen comes a lack of flavour in my tea cup. A man who fucks with my chai is no friend of mine. At least I have more room in my suitcase now that I'm not bringing him home against his will anymore. Sorry Mahabs, there's only room for one lazy ass in my apartment, and I'm not going anywhere. So this leaves me with Shotgun. And I am happy to say all's well with my boxing buddy. Thank god for that. The minute something happens to him, I will have nothing left. I will be dead inside. It just seems like the world I created here, or the world that was created around me, is quickly vanishing. Raj is even thinking about going back to Toronto at the end of the month. I doubt he will, he's been saying he's going back for the past 6 months apparently (he is, after all, still an Indian) but if that were to happen then there's no question I would be racing him to the airport. He told me he felt I was part of the family today. So that was nice. And I did find a big tub of instant badam drink mix at the bazaar today that I can take home so that's nice too. I think if I could just find some Shrikhand I might believe there is still hope for the remainder of my Indian life. Just maybe. And at least I'll always have the image of AJ shaking his applebottom while watching Dancing with the Stars in the living room to keep me warm at night. He does this. Or did this. Damn it. 

8:13pm

It has come to my attention that there is a very good possibility that Mukesh has a fear of escalators. I don't know how I missed this before. It's quite fascinating. He will stand at the base of the escalator and let at least 3 stairs take form and depart before he cautiously lifts one foot, hesitates, and steps back. Foot forward, foot back. Until finally, he will commit to his step, always managing to land between two steps, grasping tightly to the rail. My bodyguard has a fear of escalators. Let's hope I don't get abducted at the metro station cuz I'm basically a goner. One foot and then the other Mukey. That's all there is to it buddy.