Monday July 9'2012
1:58pm
I'm wiped. India takes a lot out of you. Last night Raj and Eddie took me to a bollywood film. Oh my word. First of all, their movies have intermissions. Why would they have intermissions? Oh because the films are 67 hours long! It's called overkill. But by the end of the film I did start to wonder why when Jason and I met there weren't a mob of florescent clad dancers behind each of us, on a beach, accompanying us while we professed our love through the power of hip gyrating and song. To say the least, it grew on me. Something to check off my bolly-bucket list. And the women are so disgustingly gorgeous, it's worth it just to sit there and gawk at them and question why you're not a lesbian. Before the movie, Bert and Ernie bought me paan from a vendor outside the theatre. I admit, I have found something in India I do not ever wish to eat again. Paan is a leaf folded and filled with herbs and shit that is meant to be used as a refreshment after eating. Like fucked up gum. You put the whole thing in your mouth, stuffed in the side of your cheek like a squirrel, and nibble at it slowly. Tastes like soap. Soap wrapped in a leaf stuffed in your mouth. Fermenting. (side note, later on Raj will make me try the condensed candy version at a store in Karol Bagh market, despite my protesting, where I will proceed to run out of the store and spit the tiny balls of hell onto the street, clearly showing my appreciation to the store keeper who let me try them for free... well done chels)
After almost falling asleep several times while muslim dude tries to hide his religion from his hindu Arnold Schwarzenegger looking boss through a series of quirky lies and over the top dance breaks all to end up falling in love with hindu Arnold's sister, which is complicated because he's gay (I could be a little off on the details)... anyway, what I'm trying to say is I was dead to the world the second I got home. Until about 45 minutes later when that world came crashing down around me. I didn't want to have to tell you this way, but I have no choice.
I have Milaria. I am dying. There is no other explanation for the hell I narrowly averted last night. Huddled in the fetal position, positive that an alien alien baby was going to rip its way through my stomach and proceed to eat me alive, which quite possibly would be less painful than what I actually experienced (I just recently watch Prometheus before leaving for India) It's either that, or Typhoid. Either way I'm certain it had nothing to do with that god forsaken soap leaf I ingested........
Tuesday July 10'2012
11:30am
Oh my good god in heaven. The power went out again just now but didn't come back 5 seconds later like last time. I am melting. Mt skin is literally sliding off my bones. I think I, yup, there goes an ear lobe. Eye lids are next. Dear air conditioning: I have taken you for granted and from the bottom of my heart I sincerely apologize. You have shown me what life would be without you and it's just not worth living. So please come back to me. I love you.
Ha! It worked! Praise Jesus.
Yesterday Arijeet took me to the Karol Bagh Market, the biggest in Delhi. I was confused. Upon arriving, he remembered that it is closed on mondays, but it sure didn't look closed. If this was closed, I don't think I'd wanna be there when it's open. People everywhere, the streets flooded with vendor after vendor selling everything from duffle bags to bathroom towels (I bought one, it's pink!) to souvenir tshirts. Mostly junk though, from what I saw anyway, which wasn't much since every time I slowed down, Arijeet urged me along, "come, come!" We were only there to get necessities. I've been sleeping on borrowed sheets and we already know that superstore towel does not belong to me, though we share the same nationality. So we picked up some Mickey Mouse sheets and an Indian blanket, my pretty pink lotus flower towel, and a metropass. He then took me to the studio's location nearest me for reasons unknown to me and everyone else for that matter. No one at the studio knew I was coming and really had no reason for me to be there.
I'm sorry, I have to stop myself. There is a construction man here who feels the need to hock a loogie in solid 10 minute intervals throughout his workday, which in turn makes me want to ralph in similar intervals. Every day. Second most disturbing thing in the whole universe. And how does this man even produce that much phlegm? It's not humanly possible. And the intensity behind each one, the guy's gonna wind up hocking out intestines or something. I'm worried for his safety, and mine for that matter.
Where was I? Ah yes, pointless studio visit. So once Arijeet catches up on the pointlessness he takes me home. At least I got to see where I'm teaching. Silver lining.
2:37pm
I went grocery shopping! To the trusty Food Bazaar. Eddie calls me Columbus because I explore all on my own. What a delightful little store full of delicious treats and snacks. I want to try everything! But I must pace myself. So I bought the following:
~Tasty Orange Cream cookies
~Jeera cookies (which I only purchased because a. they sounded very Indian b. on the back of the packaging there is a paragraph about how everyone should live to eat. Sold.)
~"Magic Masala" Lays potato chips
~A bag of what looks like the same cookies I bought at the sweet shop (obsessed) (note: they did not turn out to be the same-huge let down)
~Khakhra (no clue, absolutely no idea)
~strawberry and mango yogurts
~lemon flavoured bubbly something
~guava juice
~litchi juice
~mango juice
~Badam drink (again, not a clue)
~and a mango
....all for $7.00. India you are something else. I swear I was in the Food Bazaar for almost 2 hours. Loved it. Haven't seen pickles yet though. Very concerned. But I did see olives so we're getting close. Now to find some gin and I'm golden.
Columbus also discovered there's a Mcdonalds only steps from her house. A dangerous discovery indeed. But I didn't go in. I'm gonna save that one for a rainy day. Maybe when I'm feeling a little bummed out and need a taste of home. Mmmm french fries.
P.S. I came home to Raj on the phone while two service guys in blue shirts stand over pieces of an air purifier. Raj was calmly discussing the fact that the air purifier company should train their men on how to install their product before sending them out to do so. Your men have no idea what they are doing. They are not trained. I look at the men who shrug in agreeance. They are clueless. Hilarious. I was dying.
P.S.S. Eddie just came in to say goodbye, he is off to work. 5 seconds later he come back into my room with a chocolate bar. A gift to you. Then he pulls out a GIANT one and says, don't worry, I kept the big one for me.
9:30pm
I...am exhausted. Makesh (my new bodyguard- or at least that's how he like to refer to himself) took me to the second location I will be teaching at which is an almost two hour walk/metro/rickshaw ride away in a place called Gurgaon. I was told earlier today I would just be observing the class. Of course when I got there they thought I was teaching it. I was in a dress. Totally unprepared but hell, I'm here to teach, I might as well. So I hiked up my floral print sun dress (thank buddha I was wearing panties) and pulled a class out of my ass. The students are amazing. So eager to soak up everything I have to say. I love dancing in India. With the heat, your body warms up so fast and you're just a power house. It's like bikram ballet. Love! Love! Love! Love! Love! Probably lost 10 lbs in sweat though. Delicious. Of course I didn't bring a water bottle with me so I almost passed out on the train ride home. Man that's a weird feeling (very similar to the depiction in films actually, well done hollywood) First you get all dizzy and light headed, you can't focus and then it's like you go deaf or something. Everything is mumbles. My bodyguard made a dude give up his seat for me (women don't sit. There are two, yes two, reserved seats for women on each million foot long train. Next to the "old and sick" seats). The chivalrous man who sacrificed his seat offered me water and asked if I was ok every 10 minutes until my stop. What kindness. When I got off, he gave me his water bottle and wished me well. This city is growing on me. Makesh got me home safely and hugged me goodbye, which was weird since we maybe spoke 3 words to each other the entire day, one of them being goodbye. I'll take it, I'm in India.
1:58pm
I'm wiped. India takes a lot out of you. Last night Raj and Eddie took me to a bollywood film. Oh my word. First of all, their movies have intermissions. Why would they have intermissions? Oh because the films are 67 hours long! It's called overkill. But by the end of the film I did start to wonder why when Jason and I met there weren't a mob of florescent clad dancers behind each of us, on a beach, accompanying us while we professed our love through the power of hip gyrating and song. To say the least, it grew on me. Something to check off my bolly-bucket list. And the women are so disgustingly gorgeous, it's worth it just to sit there and gawk at them and question why you're not a lesbian. Before the movie, Bert and Ernie bought me paan from a vendor outside the theatre. I admit, I have found something in India I do not ever wish to eat again. Paan is a leaf folded and filled with herbs and shit that is meant to be used as a refreshment after eating. Like fucked up gum. You put the whole thing in your mouth, stuffed in the side of your cheek like a squirrel, and nibble at it slowly. Tastes like soap. Soap wrapped in a leaf stuffed in your mouth. Fermenting. (side note, later on Raj will make me try the condensed candy version at a store in Karol Bagh market, despite my protesting, where I will proceed to run out of the store and spit the tiny balls of hell onto the street, clearly showing my appreciation to the store keeper who let me try them for free... well done chels)
After almost falling asleep several times while muslim dude tries to hide his religion from his hindu Arnold Schwarzenegger looking boss through a series of quirky lies and over the top dance breaks all to end up falling in love with hindu Arnold's sister, which is complicated because he's gay (I could be a little off on the details)... anyway, what I'm trying to say is I was dead to the world the second I got home. Until about 45 minutes later when that world came crashing down around me. I didn't want to have to tell you this way, but I have no choice.
I have Milaria. I am dying. There is no other explanation for the hell I narrowly averted last night. Huddled in the fetal position, positive that an alien alien baby was going to rip its way through my stomach and proceed to eat me alive, which quite possibly would be less painful than what I actually experienced (I just recently watch Prometheus before leaving for India) It's either that, or Typhoid. Either way I'm certain it had nothing to do with that god forsaken soap leaf I ingested........
Tuesday July 10'2012
11:30am
Oh my good god in heaven. The power went out again just now but didn't come back 5 seconds later like last time. I am melting. Mt skin is literally sliding off my bones. I think I, yup, there goes an ear lobe. Eye lids are next. Dear air conditioning: I have taken you for granted and from the bottom of my heart I sincerely apologize. You have shown me what life would be without you and it's just not worth living. So please come back to me. I love you.
Ha! It worked! Praise Jesus.
Yesterday Arijeet took me to the Karol Bagh Market, the biggest in Delhi. I was confused. Upon arriving, he remembered that it is closed on mondays, but it sure didn't look closed. If this was closed, I don't think I'd wanna be there when it's open. People everywhere, the streets flooded with vendor after vendor selling everything from duffle bags to bathroom towels (I bought one, it's pink!) to souvenir tshirts. Mostly junk though, from what I saw anyway, which wasn't much since every time I slowed down, Arijeet urged me along, "come, come!" We were only there to get necessities. I've been sleeping on borrowed sheets and we already know that superstore towel does not belong to me, though we share the same nationality. So we picked up some Mickey Mouse sheets and an Indian blanket, my pretty pink lotus flower towel, and a metropass. He then took me to the studio's location nearest me for reasons unknown to me and everyone else for that matter. No one at the studio knew I was coming and really had no reason for me to be there.
I'm sorry, I have to stop myself. There is a construction man here who feels the need to hock a loogie in solid 10 minute intervals throughout his workday, which in turn makes me want to ralph in similar intervals. Every day. Second most disturbing thing in the whole universe. And how does this man even produce that much phlegm? It's not humanly possible. And the intensity behind each one, the guy's gonna wind up hocking out intestines or something. I'm worried for his safety, and mine for that matter.
Where was I? Ah yes, pointless studio visit. So once Arijeet catches up on the pointlessness he takes me home. At least I got to see where I'm teaching. Silver lining.
2:37pm
I went grocery shopping! To the trusty Food Bazaar. Eddie calls me Columbus because I explore all on my own. What a delightful little store full of delicious treats and snacks. I want to try everything! But I must pace myself. So I bought the following:
~Tasty Orange Cream cookies
~Jeera cookies (which I only purchased because a. they sounded very Indian b. on the back of the packaging there is a paragraph about how everyone should live to eat. Sold.)
~"Magic Masala" Lays potato chips
~A bag of what looks like the same cookies I bought at the sweet shop (obsessed) (note: they did not turn out to be the same-huge let down)
~Khakhra (no clue, absolutely no idea)
~strawberry and mango yogurts
~lemon flavoured bubbly something
~guava juice
~litchi juice
~mango juice
~Badam drink (again, not a clue)
~and a mango
....all for $7.00. India you are something else. I swear I was in the Food Bazaar for almost 2 hours. Loved it. Haven't seen pickles yet though. Very concerned. But I did see olives so we're getting close. Now to find some gin and I'm golden.
Columbus also discovered there's a Mcdonalds only steps from her house. A dangerous discovery indeed. But I didn't go in. I'm gonna save that one for a rainy day. Maybe when I'm feeling a little bummed out and need a taste of home. Mmmm french fries.
P.S. I came home to Raj on the phone while two service guys in blue shirts stand over pieces of an air purifier. Raj was calmly discussing the fact that the air purifier company should train their men on how to install their product before sending them out to do so. Your men have no idea what they are doing. They are not trained. I look at the men who shrug in agreeance. They are clueless. Hilarious. I was dying.
P.S.S. Eddie just came in to say goodbye, he is off to work. 5 seconds later he come back into my room with a chocolate bar. A gift to you. Then he pulls out a GIANT one and says, don't worry, I kept the big one for me.
9:30pm
I...am exhausted. Makesh (my new bodyguard- or at least that's how he like to refer to himself) took me to the second location I will be teaching at which is an almost two hour walk/metro/rickshaw ride away in a place called Gurgaon. I was told earlier today I would just be observing the class. Of course when I got there they thought I was teaching it. I was in a dress. Totally unprepared but hell, I'm here to teach, I might as well. So I hiked up my floral print sun dress (thank buddha I was wearing panties) and pulled a class out of my ass. The students are amazing. So eager to soak up everything I have to say. I love dancing in India. With the heat, your body warms up so fast and you're just a power house. It's like bikram ballet. Love! Love! Love! Love! Love! Probably lost 10 lbs in sweat though. Delicious. Of course I didn't bring a water bottle with me so I almost passed out on the train ride home. Man that's a weird feeling (very similar to the depiction in films actually, well done hollywood) First you get all dizzy and light headed, you can't focus and then it's like you go deaf or something. Everything is mumbles. My bodyguard made a dude give up his seat for me (women don't sit. There are two, yes two, reserved seats for women on each million foot long train. Next to the "old and sick" seats). The chivalrous man who sacrificed his seat offered me water and asked if I was ok every 10 minutes until my stop. What kindness. When I got off, he gave me his water bottle and wished me well. This city is growing on me. Makesh got me home safely and hugged me goodbye, which was weird since we maybe spoke 3 words to each other the entire day, one of them being goodbye. I'll take it, I'm in India.
No comments:
Post a Comment